And so, we got up at 5.00AM Greek time, left home at 6.30 to get to Iraklion airport at about 9.00. After the usual waiting around and buggering about a thirty-five minute flight took us to Athens airport where we had to wait around for nearly seven hours for our flight to Heathrow. This was sort of okay, since there were places to eat and drink (though €3.50 for a bottle of coke is outrageous) and we could pop outside the airport for a cigarette.

At Heathrow the numerous No Smoking signs started to, as always, annoy me. Then some officious prick in passport control telling us to remove any covers from our passports annoyed me further. However, the swift arrival of our luggage – first off the conveyor – allowed me to calm down. It wasn’t till we were heading out to catch our cab that my ire started to rise again. There’s not only No Smoking inside the airport, but outside too, even in the multistory parking area.

Now we wouldn’t want any second-hand cigarette smoke there to spoil the aroma of the exhaust fumes from the endless queues of taxis and buses filing across in front of Arrivals, or of the fumes from the cars cramming through the car park, not to mention the fumes from the one plane every ten minutes that takes off from Heathrow, would we?

No Smoking in the taxi too, yeah, okay, it’s not my car. But and those stickers everywhere and a big ‘Thank You For Not Smoking’ plastered across the dashboard?

Fuck off.