Just to keep you guys updated with the situation in the Asherverse: though the writing is going well and I fully intend to supply you all with your fix of outrageously violent and complicated science fiction, things ain’t going that great on a personal level. Over the last year, I’ve entered that town called shitsville, the one we all have to enter at some time or other, in that my father is dying of cancer. It’s in his lungs, liver and pancreas and, with the traumas of frequent visits from paramedics and frequent visits to the hospital, he has been steadily going downhill. Now we have reached the endgame. A hospital bed has been delivered, along with an oxygen supply and liquid morphine, and he’s now ensconced in the music room where he used to practise on his saxophone and clarinet (as well as being a lecturer in applied mathematics he was also a jazz musician too). He now looks like someone straight out of Belsen, and is eating less. Dying. That’s all really. Not sure when I’ll be posting here again. Maybe I’ll be doing it lots, maybe I’ll be gone for a while. Bear with me.

19 thoughts on “Cancer.

  1. ok, i am conflicted here, because you leaving that spam post and your comment made me chuckle out loud and earn strange looks from my co-workers.

    but, to the point. i've been spending the weekends with my grandmother, who after 80 years of solid health, is also randomly, now at home in a hospital bed, liquid morphine, hospice, and the big C. I can only spend weekends, i work about an hour and a half away. my aunts and uncles are there during the week.

    i cannot comprehend how quickly she went from healthy and good color, to in bed, so thin and weak. it's hard to watch. i imagine the tale is fairly the same with your dad.

    you have my sympathy, and understanding. take your time, spend as much of it with him as you are able.

  2. I know from recent and rather bitter experience that this won't make a blind bit of difference and there's nothing I can say to make things even fractionally better, but I'm sorry to hear about your father. You and your family take care, you hear?

  3. Sorry to hear that news, Neal.

    It's impossible to say anything encouraging or uplifting in such a moment, but you know that many of your friends, fans and fellow blogger's thoughts are with you.

    Best wishes,

    and yeah, A.I. has a long, long way to go…

  4. My deepest sympathy, Neal. I entered that particular town last year myself with my Mom and I can't say that I'm enjoying the stay.

    All the best to you and yours.

    Jonathan K. Stephens

  5. i'm really sorry to hear that, neal. it has happened to a couple of my relatives, including my grandfather last year, so i know what it's like – just do your best and when the time comes, well cross that bridge as and when.

    all my wishes to you and your family.

    (gaiusbaltar @ sff)

  6. My sympathies. My fiancee's grandfather died in December in very similar circumstances. It's quite shocking to see someone you know go downhill so fast.

    My own Dad is in remission from prostate cancer he was diagnosed with last year and my uncle is getting treated for it at the moment. It gets a lot of us.

    If you have a Maggie's Centre nearby you might want to pop in and see them. They were a big help to my Dad and my Mum during his treatment and he still visits now.

  7. It's so hard to watch a parent seem to become less and less the person you knew, but please know that within himself, and in spite of all the pain and drugs, he is still the father you've known. My thoughts and sympathy are with you.

    Thank you for the comment at my blog. I'll see you around sffworld as intensityxx.

  8. Hi Neal, just to add my condolences & support – my Dad died around this time last year of liver cancer & similarly became distressingly gaunt and frail towards the end. For what it's worth, I'd say that it's important to take care of the living, as well as the dying, which means looking after your family and yourself at this time. Anyway, all the best to you & family, and take care.

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