Over the last two days we sat and watched a film in two parts called Flood, starring amongst others Robert Carlyle and David Suchet. The first half was good (everyone enjoys a disaster movie) but for the latest fashion of, “Let’s shake the camera about to make it appear more exciting,” then the second half lapsed into bathos through to plain daft at the end. Robert Carlyle gets all emotional with his ex-wife and his estranged father, Tom Courtenay, who in turn sacrifices himself at the end to save London in a piece of televisual silliness. Yeah, you’re going underwater into a room that will close off and trap you in there until the city is saved, well, take some more air bottles you prick. But I guess the thing that completely shafted the whole film for me was that, Courtenay, the hero who sacrifices himself, was a climate modeller: “I inserted your data into my model with the result that I, and only I, know that disaster is on the way.” Not particularly credible now we know how climate models don’t work. And not particularly credible that a climate modeller would be seen anywhere away from a computer or press conference and actually out in the ‘environment’.
Author: Neal Asher
Article 17: Super Trooper
Just before reading through this I wondered if my opinion might have changed any, finishing the article, I found it hadn’t. We’re still on the liberal shit-slide, it’s just that the shit is getting deeper…
SUPER TROOPER.
I’ve just re-read Robert A. Heinlein’s Starship Troopers – a book I originally read when a teenager. What little I remembered of reading the book then, had since been swamped by the lurid images from Paul Verhoeven’s silly but enjoyable film. I probably would not have read it again but for two circumstances: firstly my mother happened to bring home a copy from the charity shop in which she works, and secondly, the strident claims that Heinlein is fascist/right-wing/libertarian from members of the British SF establishment, piqued my interest, for it is often the books recommended by the same critics and self-styled academics that bore me into a coma. My second reading of this book gave me what I’ll describe as the Dad’s Army effect. When I watched that series as a child, I laughed along with the slapstick and enjoyed it on that level. Watching it later as an adult, I began to appreciate the adult humour. Starship Troopers can appeal to the SF-with-boy’s-toys oriented adolescent just as much as to an adult with the same orientation. But reading ideas of how human rights and privileges should be earned and should be equally balanced by responsibilities, I began to see why Heinlein is disliked by so many, then I hit chapter eight. There are those who consider his work ironic – satire – when he is describing his future society, but that’s wishful thinking on the part of people who cannot accept that someone who produces such lucid enjoyable work does not buy into their political beliefs. His satire is in fact directed against the society of his time, and of our time, of which he is unstinting in his scorn. Not accepting the cop-out that he didn’t really mean it, it would seem then that Heinlein advocates corporal and capital punishment “…they (wrongly) assumed Man has a moral instinct.” his narrator tells us, this, after detailing how the delinquents of the twentieth century were never really deterred from going on to become full-time criminals. How they never, in the puppy-training analogy he uses, had their noses rubbed in it. He comments on a death sentence carried out on someone who kidnapped and murdered a little girl: Well, if there was no way to keep it from happening once, there was only one sure way to keep it from happening twice. Which we used. The old liberal platitude has it that the death penalty is no deterrent to murder, which is like saying that hitting a paving slab at 125 miles an hour is no deterrent to jumping off the Eiffel Tower. Well, you’ll only do it once. Of course such arguments are too simplistic for the politically correct and ‘socially aware’, but he has a pop at them as well on the subject of corporal punishment: “…the time-tested method of instilling social virtue and respect for law in the minds of the young did not appeal to a pre-scientific pseudo-professional class who called themselves ‘social workers’ or sometimes ‘child psychologists’. It was too simple for them, apparently, since anyone could do it using the patience and firmness needed in training a puppy. I have sometimes wondered if they cherished a vested interest in disorder…” Such simplicity is not relished by those who studied psychology, sociology et al at the universities where they also received their political indoctrination. (It’s sad that so many enter the SF world via the same route and consider themselves radical, when really they’re only joining the establishment.) Such people have not so much a vested interest in disorder, but in over-complication, because that way they can wrest control from poor normal plebs. “You must not smack your child, bring him to the child psychologist and if that doesn’t work, we’ll dose him up with Ritalin, then during his ensuing life this severely screwed-up human being can keep any number of counsellors, psychologists, social workers & sociologists in employment.” Reading about Heinlein’s work I discover that he did not write ‘literature’ and that his later works were weighed down with didactic right-wing/libertarian tracts. Of course, had those tracts been left-wing/liberal, he would have been on a higher pedestal in Britain than the one he presently occupies – his work branded as serious literature containing much important social commentary. You gotta laugh. Starship Troopers was first published forty-six years ago. Read chapter eight if you cannot be bothered with the whole book. In the political zeitgeist of today’s Britain Heinlein is not accepted as a visionary, but that will come after the lunatics presently in control of our society have finished shovelling their excrement at the fan, in the time when we have to clean up the mess. ENDS.
Gov.com Bollocks
Television adverts are irritating at the best of times, but are now becoming doubly irritating as advertisers adopt government doctrine so that now double glazing will reduce your carbon footprint, margarine will stave off obesity and expensive yoghurt will stop your arteries clogging (whilst filling your plastic recycling bin with piss-little pots). But at least these advertisers are only trying to sell us something.
Worse are the endless begging adverts and health warnings paid for by our taxes funnelled to on-message charities like, for example, ASH, which received a total of £11,143 from the public and £320,400 from the government, or like Alcohol Concern, which received nothing from the public but over £400,000 from the Department of Health.
Worse still are the ones brought to us direct by gov.com. Presently we’re being bombarded every evening by the low fat healthy living message from the Morph’s Plasticene family. This message is delivered with such teeth-filing dumbed-down patronising nanny-state knows best subtlety I want to throw a brick through the screen. Apparently healthy people eat carrots and apples and dump burgers in the bin. Healthy people walk rather than use the ‘comfy car’ or the ‘more comfy bus’ (The message here of course that those who use the bus are less reprehensible than those who use a car).
Then, this morning I discover two full-page spreads of this dreck in two national newspapers. Obviously the budget for ramming home gov.com statist tripe will be the last to be cut as the country goes into financial meltdown. I mean, gov.com has £75 million to throw at this, but only just managed to scrape enough together for drugs to stop people going blind.
They just won’t stop, will they? They just won’t be satisfied until we are all good little low-carbon carrot-eating robots obedient to nanny state for every minute of our lives.
Australia
Shall I compare thee to a block of granite? Film viewing on Tuesdays being discounted at the cinema in Freeport Braintree, me and the wife headed down there to watch a film that seemed to have potential, to be followed by some food in a nearby Mexican restaurant. We watched Australia, though I have to admit there were periods when I wasn’t watching, having closed my eyes in the hope of drifting off to sleep. What a load of boring cliched tripe. Yeah, it was about as interesting as watching a block of granite, there seemed an equivalent amount of active chemistry involved too, however, Australia differed by having a story substantially less interesting than that of a block of granite. Is it Nicole Kidman? I can’t seem to remember any enoyable films in which she has appeared, but I can remember plenty of dreadful ones, like Cold Mountain, Atonement and Moulin Rouge.
And the beef in my fajita was tough too.
Okay, I got Atonement wrong, that was that Keira Knightley. As Bob pointed out I was so fucking bored I forgot who was in the damned thing.
Prudence Brown Strikes Again.
It’s nice to know that good old prudence Brown, whilst calling for us all to summon up the ‘Blitz Spirit’ to get us through the credit crunch, is still prepared to stretch his generous hand across the world. Today we learn that $10,000,000 of our money has been promised in aid to the Gaza strip. So, as we enter the new year and you’re collecting your P45 or shutting the front door on your house for the last time you can be comforted by the knowledge that your taxes are helping out Hamas. This bunch of murderous fuck-pigs can now spend their plentious funding from Iran on more weapons rather than on helping the people they are supposed to represent. Perhaps this year Hamas will be able to beat last year’s record of 5,000 Islamic Jihad missiles dropped on Israel, who knows?
Thanks a lot Gordon.
Of course, it’s worth noting that the sum promised is in dollars this time. This is probably because Qassam Missile Inc. would rather be paid in a currency with some chance of retaining its value.
Note: If you’d like to check out just how much of your money is blown each year on funding outside of Britain by the Department for International Development, check out the figures in the tables starting at page 240 of this document. Oh, and since the figures are in ‘£ thousand’ don’t forget to add three zeros. Yep, you guessed it: it’s billions. DFID expenditure was in the region of £4.6 billion in 2005/06. As for 2008/09, these tables give planned expenditure, so probably more was spent. Here’s some examples: after £163 million on administration you’ll be glad to know £94 million was to be thrown at ‘global environment funds’ and about £1.5 billion at Africa.
Sci-Fi-London Interview
Well, there’s a video interview with me up on the Sci-Fi-London site now, which will later be added to the list of interview on their .tv site. I haven’t yet watched it myself but Caroline tells me it’s OK – not too many ums and ers.
SCI-FI-LONDON was lucky enough to meet Neal Asher at his Essex home to talk about his latest book, The Gabble & Other Stories, about writing and about 15 years of the Polity universe, David Fincher, Heavy Metal and the internet as a distraction from real work.
Now, I really really must get out of Christmas mode and do some of that real work.
Drink Safely this Christmas…
Happy Christmas!
Atonement
Having opted out of Sky because we’re not here enough for it to be value for money, we’ve been spending money saved on DVDs. Last night we sat down to watch one of them and, both of us liking films about World War II, we chose Atonement. I have to say that it was only by dint of some whisky and homebrew beer that I managed to retain the will to live. This film was like what some academic writers do to history when they manage to turn an interesting subject into something dry as dust boring. Caroline told me to give it time, but when her eyes started to glaze over I knew it had had time enough. I wonder, is the McEwan book as bad as this, because apparently the film is faithful to it. I wouldn’t be surprised, since this is Booker literarty-farty territory. If you’re looking for a romping good war story go and buy Enemy at the Gates, however, if you’re looking for a soporific…
Last Colony
Just a little I wish Scalzi would give us alien aliens rather than something I feel certain could be created with an application of latex, also there’s almost an antiquated feel to these books as if I’m reading something out of my loft library, maybe a Poul Anderson, Heinlein or some such, but that doesn’t undermine the pleasure of the read. In the end The Last Colony had characters and a story that thoroughly engaged me and I polishing it off in a day. And without a doubt I’ll be getting hold of Zoe’s Tale, and enjoying it just as much.

